LocalNews.com is the region's homepage with complete news and information for your community. Horriblescope en mike@brandywinenewmedia.com <a href="http://www.globalmoxie.com/">Big Medium Web Content Manager v1.3.6</a> http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss http://www.horriblescope.com/index.shtml Copyright 2006. Brandywine New Media. <br><a href="http://www.brandywinenewmedia.com"><img src="http://www.horriblescope.com/images/BNMLogo.gif" /> <br> All rights reserved.| Sat, 22 Sep 2006 21:40:00 GMT In an exclusive column for Horriblescope, Satan talks about his outster from Hell, Karl Rove and how it all went down. Sat, 22 Sep 2006 21:40:00 GMT http://www.horriblescope.com/moxie/ahead/life-was-great-until-rove.shtml http://www.horriblescope.com/moxie/ahead/life-was-great-until-rove.shtml It looks like Tom Cruise's development deal with God is finished, meaning the former superstar now will be lucky to get a sit-com role on Fox. Sat, 22 Sep 2006 21:28:00 GMT http://www.horriblescope.com/moxie/gossip/god-fires-tom-cruise.shtml http://www.horriblescope.com/moxie/gossip/god-fires-tom-cruise.shtml Osama Bin Laden celebrates the end of U.S. commerical air travel — and debuts an emo video featuring George W. Bush. Sat, 22 Sep 2006 17:41:00 GMT http://www.horriblescope.com/moxie/uhoh/bin-laden-salutes-bush-la.shtml http://www.horriblescope.com/moxie/uhoh/bin-laden-salutes-bush-la.shtml Researchers find that abstinance leads to more and more bizzare sex acts — causing a rift between some religious leaders, those still supporting abstinance and those now opposed. Sat, 22 Sep 2006 16:19:00 GMT http://www.horriblescope.com/moxie/future/abstinence-leads-to-more-.shtml http://www.horriblescope.com/moxie/future/abstinence-leads-to-more-.shtml President Bush apologized for touching off a series of events leading to world-wide nuclear devastation and then put forth a bold plan to repopulate the Earth. Sat, 22 Sep 2006 17:28:00 GMT http://www.horriblescope.com/moxie/uhoh/bush-sorry-about-armagedd.shtml http://www.horriblescope.com/moxie/uhoh/bush-sorry-about-armagedd.shtml The nation's final cell-phone using, mini-van driving soccer mom was executed, ending a four-month drive to wipe them out, led by President Bush. Sat, 22 Sep 2006 17:55:00 GMT http://www.horriblescope.com/moxie/future/cellphone-minivan-driving.shtml http://www.horriblescope.com/moxie/future/cellphone-minivan-driving.shtml Scientists worry that a new form of Web site, the sports-porn site, could lead to the end of all life on Earth. The creator of the first such site says it's not his problem. Sat, 22 Sep 2006 21:15:00 GMT http://www.horriblescope.com/moxie/future/sportsporn-could-lead-to-.shtml http://www.horriblescope.com/moxie/future/sportsporn-could-lead-to-.shtml Read this article for tips on how to customize the site to match your organization's brand and content. Plus: Learn how to offer free local weather reports for your community, right on the homepage. Fri, 21 Sep 2006 18:48:00 GMT http://www.horriblescope.com/moxie/hscopes/aries/welcome.shtml http://www.horriblescope.com/moxie/hscopes/aries/welcome.shtml A new local poll confirms the long-held belief that adults have a strong dislike for teens. Eighty-three percent of adults over 30 also say high school was the best four years of their lives. Sat, 22 Sep 2006 21:18:00 GMT http://www.horriblescope.com/moxie/future/teenagers.shtml http://www.horriblescope.com/moxie/future/teenagers.shtml Covered in pigeons at all hours of the day, Rufus DeWitt says he's a man on a mission. Wed, 12 Sep 2006 18:48:00 GMT http://www.horriblescope.com/moxie/hscopes/aries/birdman.shtml http://www.horriblescope.com/moxie/hscopes/aries/birdman.shtml Carny goers denounced the unexplained absence of the perennially favorite ride. Carnival managers would not comment. Tue, 11 Sep 2006 18:48:00 GMT http://www.horriblescope.com/moxie/hscopes/aries/tiltowhirl.shtml http://www.horriblescope.com/moxie/hscopes/aries/tiltowhirl.shtml Locals applauded the steep financial sentence, as the family thanked law enforcement officials for doing something about "this outrageous public menace." Fri, 07 Sep 2006 18:48:00 GMT http://www.horriblescope.com/moxie/hscopes/aries/fines.shtml http://www.horriblescope.com/moxie/hscopes/aries/fines.shtml After the "old-Europe/new-Europe" name-calling among European countries, it turns out that nobody can figure out what it means. Thu, 06 Sep 2006 18:48:00 GMT http://www.horriblescope.com/moxie/hscopes/leo/europe.shtml http://www.horriblescope.com/moxie/hscopes/leo/europe.shtml As grits mysteriously disappear from storeshelves from Texas to the Carolinas, a public of breakfast-eaters grows anxious. Wed, 05 Sep 2006 18:48:00 GMT http://www.horriblescope.com/moxie/hscopes/gemini/grits.shtml http://www.horriblescope.com/moxie/hscopes/gemini/grits.shtml